Mapping it out!

Ipeylin‘m starting to put together a map of the entire world of Peyllen, and how the Sea of Tears (from the “Witch’s Trilogy”) fits into the greater world. You can see the Sea of Tears in the middle with land on either side. Oddly the islands in the Sea of Tears do not appear on any maps of the various kingdoms because any ship who traveled there never returned. They assume there’s a sea monster, or some large whirlpool there.

I love having maps in Gimp because I can do various layers that include roads, trade routes, and even a map just to lay out which character goes where in the world. Then you can just make the layers that you want visible. It’s fantastic for story planning, and keeping everything in order. Plus it’s just awesome to look at.

Next I’ll be adding various features like large forests, major cities, and the mountain ranges.

Also, I should note that because of the way Peyllen was created this map isn’t based on normal geological features, as in plate tectonics and shifting like that. Other things like weather, and where deserts and swamps might occur, are effected naturally but the underlying structure of the world was created by the movement of the trolls, not plate tectonics. (More on that in another post.)

I have lots of books planned in this world, spanning centuries, so look for updates of that after I’m finished with the Witch’s Trilogy.

Almost done, and scared

I’m close to finishing book three in my Witch’s Trilogy. This has taken me almost a year and a half to complete. What started as a simple 80,000 word stand alone novel has become a 230,000 word trilogy, something I never thought I could write. I mean the first novel I wrote (which was terrible) took five years. This took 18 months for all three! That’s crazy.

And yet as I get closer to the end I find myself getting scared. Scared to finish. Scared to succeed. But mostly terrified that it will fail. It makes it difficult to write sometimes, but I do it anyway. A few words here, a few sentences there, trying to get to the end even though a big part of me is afraid of doing so. And I know it’s stupid to be afraid.

For the last couple of years I’ve made some great friends, watched them write novels and make a small (or sometimes big) following for themselves. And they’ve done well. I’m happy for them, and I’ve tried to learn from their examples but it all seems to come back to “write more good books. Eventually something will get through.”

Oh, they do other things like ads on facebook and book bub, but mostly they just write good books and keep putting them out there. No wonder they have lots of readers.

So I’ve been telling myself that with the third book I can finally have a trilogy out, three complete novels, and I might be able to do a bit of advertising. But as the time gets closer I realize that… it doesn’t work like that. Oh sure, I could do some advertising (and I will) but really, in the end it might not even matter. Sometimes getting people to pay attention to what you made is just a matter of the right time at the right place.

So I’m afraid that I’ll put up the third book and I won’t sell a single copy. I shouldn’t be afraid of that, not if I really just want to write. But there it is. That gnawing fear.

Here’s the truth: whether I sell a thousand books, or one, or even zero…I’m going to keep writing. I love telling stories, and building worlds. I love seeing what happens to my characters. So I know I shouldn’t care if this book sells anything since I’m going to keep doing it anyway.

But I also know it’s nice to have some validation that what I say matters to someone. And I don’t know where to get that validation. I suppose I should figure that out soon, because it probably won’t come from sales any time soon.

After this last book in the trilogy I’m going to go back to making my own covers, and probably shorter works because editing can get expensive, but I will continue to write. And I won’t feel the pressure to finish them like I do with this one because I won’t have invested so much money into them… just time, and me. I think I’d rather invest myself in my books then money anyway.

Anyway, time to get back to the writing. Fear or not, I want to finish it. Even if no one ever reads it I need to say that I finished it.

Are My Little Pony’s for girls?

thingIf I said “Transformers and Superheroes are for boys and your little girl is weird if she watches it” you’d probably be pissed. I know I would. As a little girl I watched tons of X-men, Batman, Spiderman, and Transformers. Heck, anything with a -man at the end was okay with me. I also watched some She-ra and a few other cartoons that were specifically for girls and the boys would shun. But not a lot of them.

Honestly, I have to admit that a part of me thought “if this isn’t good enough for boys then why am I watching it. They think it’s gross, so maybe it is.” Even today there is a small hint of shame when I say I liked She-ra as a little girl.

The dilemma: Programs are still marketed for girls or boys. They still encourage a specific gender norm. Boys like cars and superheroes. Girls like make up and fashion. But what if they don’t? Is that wrong?

I could care less about fashion and makeup, the things that are marketed to girls. I like the way I look without those things, and I buy my clothes off the discount racks because I’m not spending $300 for a pair of shoes or a dress. I like to look pretty like any other girl, but I don’t like wasting my money on “fashion”. Does that make me less of a woman? Hell no!

Society won’t tell a girl that she is wrong for watching superheroes, but they will definitely tell a boy he is wrong for watching My Little Pony’s. Why? My Little Pony’s has catchy music, nice animation style, good morals and themes, and most of all it focuses on how important friendship is. Something many children have problems with add they are distanced from one another with computers and tech. And for boys who learn that showing emotions is “girly” and makes you weak this is even better. Finally they have a role model that lets them know it’s okay to tell people what you’re really thinking/feeling.

I think the stereotype of what girls and boys like (or rather what can be sold to their parents) has been shifting for a while, and toy companies are slowly being dragged along kicking and screaming. Take the #wheresrey hashtag that’s been going around since the release of “Force Awakens”. People were PISSED that the main character of the show was no where to be seen in any of the merchandise. Because Hasbro, who had the contact for merch on Star Wars, believes that little girls don’t buy merchandise, and little boys don’t buy toys with girl dolls in them, she was no where to be seen. And it wasn’t the first time they did this. They also left out Black Widow from the Avengers set, and Gamora was left out of the Guardians of the Galaxy set and t-shirts. The Black Widow issue is so annoying they have a whole tumbler for it.

That’s why there is a difference between dolls and action figures even if they look the same. An action figure of She-ra is a doll. A doll of GI Joe is still an action figure, even if it looks a lot like a Ken doll in camos. Girls get dolls, boys get action figures, right? That’s been how it was for decades, but we’re also breaking down that stereotype. My son had a baby doll when he was two years old. He carted it around all over the place, and he loved it. I had no issues with it. I’ve seen other little boys holding dolls as well, and there are some great reasons to let kids, boys and girls, play with baby dolls. Why wouldn’t you want a boy to grow up thinking that it’s okay for him to hold a baby? Or would you rather stick with the idea that it’s “women’s work” to take care of babies?

The biggest problem is that cartoons are made to sell merchandise, not to get kids to watch them. When the creators of My Little Pony came to Hasbro with the new format (which was geared to a more modern and slightly older generation) Hasbro would not give them the go ahead unless they made the show about fashion and makeup, two things that weren’t suppose to be in the show at all when first developed. They had to make Rarity a pony with her own fashion studio to satisfy the requirements. So imagine their surprise when teen boys became their biggest demographic.

Trying to perpetuate age old stereotypes has not helped the toy industry, which is sad. The movie industry is starting to break free with movies like Frozen and Force Awakens with women playing prominent, strong roles. Why shouldn’t it be the same for boys who are allowed to watch My Little Pony’s?

The Mirror

Today was the second day of the new podcast, and my newsletter was just sent the first short story, “The Mirror.”

This short story is going to eventually be the Zero episode of my “Illicit Gains” series, a series of short stories revolving around items that have paranormal properties. This includes “The Ring” and “The Camera.” I will be writing a couple of the stories during the Bradbury Challenge.

I still think we’re a bit crazy for trying to write a short story every week, but at the same time it’s encouraging me to write more, and that’s awesome in and of itself. And that also means more stories for you! You just have to sign up for the newsletter to get them.

Here is a short sample of “The Mirror”.

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Judy rubbed a hand over the frame, polishing a floret in the engraved design. Aunt Tracy didn’t overlook much, but she hadn’t noticed the ladder up to the attic space, so missed the mirror. Perhaps she thought her mother had been too old to go up there, or that the crawl space wasn’t big enough to hold anything. Most of the items in the attic had been junk; old Christmas ornaments, craft magazines and a box of flower vases. Things most people would throw away or donate to a thrift store. It was likely Tracy only saw the trash, never venturing far enough into the attic to find the mirror.

It meant Judy could keep one thing of her grandmothers, even if she didn’t remember her grandmother ever having the mirror.

She stepped back admiring her handiwork…and froze. She blinked, clearing her eyes. Surely they were playing tricks on her. A shadow seemed to pass over the image in the mirror, something that twisted her own face into something

Judy squinted. What was that? A trick of the light? A shadow?

A shiver ran down her spine as she took a step back. Her mind was playing tricks on her, surely, but something did seem off about the mirror.

Diversity in Fantasy

I write fantasy, if you can’t tell. I also read a lot of it. I enjoy dragons, fairies, magic and mayhem. It’s fun, and a nice distraction from every day life. But most of all I love building world’s where people can change everything around them with a little magic.

Today, while youtubeing, I ran into an interview with George RR Martin about GOT, and specifically why it is so “monoculture”, i.e. most everyone is white. Martin’s answer, and many people’s answer for this, is “Because most fantasy is written by middle aged white guys.” And there is a lot of truth to this. There aren’t a lot of fantasy writers of other ethnicities. Wiki even had an article about it, and a list of the notable authors. There aren’t a lot.

But I think there is more to it than that.

Most fantasy books have mono cultures because they take place in small areas before the advent of travel between countries. In my own series all of the characters are the same race because they all live on an island nation together. There have been no immigrants, so no other races are present. There are more diverse characters in other parts of my world, but there are no planes to encourage mixing of the cultures. No TV, no phone, no cruise ships. No extensive way to travel, so few do it.

Integration and diversity are modern concepts created because travel and relocation became easy. On the other hand most fantasy is built on the Victorian age when only the rich or explorers could afford to visit far off lands. That means a natural lack of diversity.

Plus if you wanted to base the culture of your world off an actual real world equivalent then the place with castels, Knights, priests, etc (things people often equate with fantasy) was Europe, not Africa. A fantasy novel based on Africa, or Asia, or South America’s past would look entirely different than one based on Europe. If you just make all of the characters in your Anglo influenced book dark skinned then it’s still a white culture book with dark skinned people. The skin color often becomes irrelevant at that point, window dressing to go with the dragons. Then you get to the question “if you call a rabbit a smeerp is it still a rabbit?” Does it matter, does it make a difference. I don’t know that answer because it doesn’t effect me in the same way, I’d love another person’s opinion.

Another way to look at it… Why is Merideth from “Brave” White? She’s from Ireland. Why is Elsa from “Frozen” white? Scandinavia. Aurora, Snow White, Cinderella… All from predominantly white countries. Would it have changed them had they been Black or Asian? I think so,just the same as making Mulan white would have been wrong on so many levels.

Also, we write what we know. I learned a lot in history and English about the ancient days in England, I know very little about Africa before colonization. Our studies in public schools in the USA are very USA centric. I’ve also read a lot of fantasy books that take place in Anglo influenced realms, because there aren’t a lot that don’t. Therefore when I sit down to write I’m more apt to write in the same sort of world because that is the world I know.

There is also the risk that if you write about diverse cultures you risk catering to stereotypes. I don’t know much about the early days of Africa, but are the few things I do know heavily influenced by stereotypes or not? I don’t know. How much research do I want to do in order to write that book without appearing to be “another white girl labeling black culture?” It’s often safer not to attempt it, and so many newer authors won’t. Then you have your series that you have a fan base in and why would you step out of it to try something new?

I find the question of diversity more appropriate when dealing with science fiction because one would assume that most science fiction would take place in the future where integration was more predominant, or modern fantasy that takes place after the industrial revolution. Even then you might come accross species, groups, or colonies that are monoculture for one reason or another. It’s a good time to explore it.

I suppose I’m more curious about this question as I get closer to writing the books and stories I have planned that take place in areas of my world that are distinctly not Anglo in origin. I love my world, and I want to share it with readers, but I also want to be faithful to the world I created.

I suppose there is a balance to be struck somewhere, and it’s my job to find it.

Getting Fit

Gregg’s mom got me a FitBit for Christmas. It hasn’t been off my wrist much since then. I love it. At a glance I can tell how much I’ve been sleeping, how many steps I took for the day, and how active I was all week.

What have I learned? I’ve gotten really lazy, that’s what I’ve learned. And I don’t sleep well. Well, I already knew the second part, but it really does drive the point home by telling me how many times I woke up last night, and how few hours I actually sleep (6 on average).

Does it help me fix all of that? Well, it’s encouraging me to get off my butt and move around a lot more. I’ve also tried tracking what I eat and because of that I pass on a lot of the sugar and pasta that I would usually eat. I also take a second look at the menu for something semi healthy when we go out to eat. I guess that’s a start.

But really, for the sleep all I can do is try to go to bed a little earlier. So far it hasn’t helped since I just end up waking up earlier. Maybe my natural rhythm is to only sleep six hours? Or maybe I need to be more active so my body wants more sleep. I don’t know. Time to experiment.

I do know that I’m averaging about 5000 steps a day. That’s not enough, not if I want to be healthier. So I’ll be trying to increase that as I increase my word count.

How do you know if you’re good?

You can google that questions. It will give you seven ways to know if you’re a good person, ways to be good in bed, and ways to be a good kisser. But nothing that really says “this is how you know that you’re good.”

Try “at something” and it gives you a list of questionnaires to find out your strengths and weaknesses, and tricks and tips to finding your talent.

But how do you really know that you’re good at something? For me it’s writing. I write short stories, I show them to other people, and sometimes they say they are good. Other times they read them and say nothing. Still sometimes they don’t even bother reading them. That’s nothing new though, I’m sure I’ve passed over thousands of books to choose to read the few that I have. There are TV shows I will watch, and rave about, and there are others I won’t even give a second glance. But that doesn’t necessarily speak to weather or not something is good.

Today on Reddit someone asked what the worst part of self publishing was. I said marketing because I have absolutly no idea how to do. I think sometimes it’s just that I don’t have the confidence to do it. I don’t believe in myself enough, I don’t believe that people care what I have to say enough, so I don’t want to bother them with me begging them to buy, read, or review one of my stories. This belief that my words hold no value is ingrained from childhood when I was to be seen and no heard, and a lot of the time I wasn’t even to be seen. It’s a hard thing to undo.

Another person in that forum said they hated marketing because there were tons of books that were better then hers that aren’t getting any love because their writers don’t know how to market, while her books are doing fantastic because she is good at marketing. And there is the crux of the matter. If you know how to market you’re golden. If you don’t… then you’re me. 😉

I do get fantastic comments on my books sometimes, and I read them all because it’s so encouraging. The comments, wherever they find me, have been helpful in keeping me going in between publications.

But am I good? I don’t know. Perhaps time will tell. All I know is that for right now… I’m good enough. I’ve gotten to a place in my writing that I think I’m doing pretty good. Not everything is golden, not everything is solid, but the things I put out are decent and I would read them if I hadn’t written them. Isn’t that as much as you can ask, especially when you’re first starting out?

I hope some day to know weather or not I was good at writing. Until then I plan to just keep getting better, and keep putting things out. Eventually something is bound to touch someone.

Review: Jessica Jones

Jessica JonesI finished watching Jessica Jones just last month and I have to say that it is one of my favorite shows to come out last year.

They did a great job of setting the series up. Here we have a bad ass woman who doesn’t take crap from anyone, and has the strength of a hundred men. Then someone mentions Killgrave and she’s visibly terrified. This bad ass chick that just lifted a car, jumped to the second story of a building without a problem, and gives no fucks about anyone or anything, is terrified of this guy. This guy must be really dangerous if she’s scared of him, right?

Then we start finding out what kind of a completely messed up guy this really is, and what he does to his victims. Mind control with absolutely no conscious, no empathy. It’s horrifying. He thinks nothing of telling people to kill themselves, or others, or having children sit in a closet and die of starvation, unable to move or call for help just because he told them not to. It’s one of the most sadistic villains I’ve ever seen in a super hero movie or TV series.

Jessica Jones at first decides to run. She wants to get as far away from Killgrave as possible, but even in running we see that she has altruism at heart. She isn’t running because she’s afraid of what he’ll do to her, he’s already raped and tortured her, and while that’s terrible it isn’t the worst he can do. She’s terrified of what he will make her do to other people.

This is the crux of the entire season of Jessica Jones. She isn’t fighting for herself, I sometimes wondered if she could fight for herself. She’s motivated by helping others, and trying to stop Killgrave from harming anyone else.

The creators of Jessica Jones really did their homework on the psychology of abuse victims. While not everyone reacts the same to abuse there are some similarities that they portrayed throughout the season. There are a group of Killgrave’s victims that come together and discuss what happened to them, and try to overcome their problems together. Then there is Jessica Jones who shuns such help, and would rather drink away her memories. The sharp contrast serves to set her apart from everyone. She doesn’t want their help, even if she sometimes needs it.

Krysten Ritter does a phenomenal job of portraying Jessica Jones, a smart, sassy woman who’s tough as nails and broken at the same time. Her opposite, Killgrave, played by David Tenant, does a fantastic job of bringing a horrible villain to life with all his quirks and idiosyncrasy. Together they make a nail biting series that I just could not stop watching.

They even play homage to the origin of the characters. Killgrave, once The Purple Man, is seen wearing purple suits in a couple of episodes. Jessica Jones’ sister brings out a costume for her to wear, a copy of the Jewel costume that she wore in the comics.

Like Dare Devil before this, Jessica Jones is one of my favorite super hero shows. I think Marvel did the right thing in giving Netflix the go ahead to make these series. With more planned I feel that my subscription to Netflix is the best value in TV I can get.

Free books, and a challenge

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Today’s free books: The Camara, Potion Shop and Twilight Tales. That’s five short stories for free!

Also, we recorded the first episode of “The Bradbury Challenge” podcast this morning. It’s a challenge undertaken by me, +Maya G​​ and +Gerald Hornsby​​ to write one short story every week because “no one can write 52 bad short stories.” (Or we’re masochist, whichever.)

The podcast will be out every Monday, and I will be giving away my short stories every week in my newsletter. So if you’d like to read along and see if it’s true that you can’t write 52 bad short stories then you can sign up here. (Also a reminder, these short stories will eventually be available on amazon, etc, but most of them will not be released for at least a month, so the only way to get them is through the newsletter.)

If you’d like to take the challenge with us, or just watch us trying, then come to the website and tell us about it! Share in our misery and successes.

Progress

Writing isn’t happening tonight so I thought instead I’d give some updates and let others know what’s going on in my neck of the woods.

First, I have a full house. My daughter came home from school for the holidays so there is always someone in my living room. If it isn’t her it’s my son, who is also off school, or my boyfriend who changed his hours at work. That means recording my videos for youtube, and booktube especially, has become difficult. I’m going to have to set aside a day to do that.

January 4th will be the first episode of the “Bradbury Challenge”. More on that next month.

As for the progress on the third, and final novel of the “Witch’s Trilogy”… It’s so close to being done. I hate this part the most. When you’re close to finishing a project (i’m talking 95% finished here) and all you have to do is put in those last few chapters. It feels like you should be able to just do it, and check off each chapter. But then you sit down to write it and you realize that each of these chapters has something wrong with them, or something difficult to write.

For me it’s the fight scenes. It’s always been the fight scenes. I have to puzzle out all the moves in my head and write them out in a list, then rewrite everything as a story. It’s probably not the most efficient way of writing them but it works, and the results get me lots of compliments. But I’ve noticed that when I read I tend to gloss over the fight scenes and just pick up the highlights. I don’t care for the fight scenes in book form. I don’t even know if I care for them that much in a movie or TV show unless they really stand out for some reason (like the epic battle in Dare Devil.) Most of the time you already know who is going to win, and it’s just a matter of how. So the struggle becomes “how do I make this interesting.” And I’m not good at that…yet. I recognize that fault and so I struggle with them. I try not to write stories that contain fight scenes, but I’m dealing with epic magic and sword battles here, they are unavoidable.

I suppose I need to find some well written fight scenes to read for encouragement. Till then I need to finish this damn book.

Gregg wanted me to finish it by the end of the year. That leaves two more days to finish it. I have six chapters that I need to complete, each of which is about half finished. That’s still another 5000 words or so to completion. Can I do it in two days? I don’t think so, but I’m going to try. I’d like to get at least half of them finished, and then the entire novel complete by the end of the first week in January.

What comes after “Witch’s Stand”? More writing, of course. I have a lot of things planned for 2016. For right now I think I’m going to try and get a few more words before I finally give into the pillow calling my name.