Category Archives: On Writing

Three weeks

It’s been three weeks since I got sick, and I’m still exhausted. We went to the doctor yesterday and she said it looked life a virus and it can take a month or two for the fatigue to pass.

A month or two of this? How do I function? I have a job, and books to write, and everything else…

I can still do things, it’s just a lot slower. And I’ve noticed the more I am on my feet the more tired I am.

I think I’m going to try laying down with the laptop to write. At least that would be an improvement. I’ve also been laying down during breaks at work just trying to get through the day. Anything to try and stay awake for the whole shift, but by the last couple hours I’m so tired I start really struggling to think. Then I come home and go right to sleep.

I hate this. I’m trying B-12 complex and since meds for now. It’s all I have.

If anyone has any other suggestions I’m all ears. This is miserable.

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Posted by on March 23, 2018 in On Writing


Getting a little personal

I’ve been watching a lot of videos about… well… self help actually. Or maybe it’s self actualization, or attaining your potential. Any of those things, I suppose, they all boil down to the same philosophy: making something of your life.

And it doesn’t matter which book, or webinar, or podcast, or youtube video you watch, they all have the same premise. Find yourself. Then find out what you can do to make yourself better. Either by organizing your life, or learning new skills, or teaching, etc, etc. There are so many ways you can find that path, and for each person it’s going to be a little different, because we’re a little different. What drives me, and makes me happy isn’t the same thing that makes you happy. Or my children happy. Or my boyfriend happy. And that’s okay.

Personal responsibility. It’s a difficult thing to suggest these days when everyone seems so keen on blaming everyone else for their failure. I grew up around people who constantly blamed the rich for keeping them down, or jobs stagnating, or prices being fixed. Very few of them actually considered learning a trade, or starting their own business, or doing side work, or maybe even getting a second job.

There has been an anathema to this idea of “picking yourself up by the bootstrap”. So many keep saying it doesn’t work, that there are obstacles. Well, of course there are obstacles. Life is filled with them, no matter who you are. You might have some things that help you get past the obstacles a little faster, like training, or money, or a family willing to help you, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles.

For me in my writing, my biggest obstacles are my spelling (hire editors), and my ability to procrastinate. I’m amazing at procrastinating. If there were a masters in procrastination I would get it…eventually.

But that’s where personal responsibility comes in. Being responsible for my children was easy. If I didn’t feed them they let me know about it and I got myself into the kitchen and made them some food, or taught them how to make something. Feeding myself isn’t as easy. I often forget to eat, and don’t think about it till my body starts reminding me that without proper food intake it doesn’t do so well. Same with writing. If I have a deadline for a professor in a college class it is much easier to get it done than if I am just writing for myself.

Now that all of my children have moved out and it is just Gregg and I in the home it’s…interesting. I’m taking a whole new look at personal responsibility, and realizing I’ve never really had any for myself. I’ve had responsibilities outside myself like bills and children and work. But for me? That is so completely different. To take responsibility in improving yourself, pushing yourself to do great things, even making sure you put down the video game and pick up the pen, complete what you started. Being responsible to yourself instead of just doing what others tell you to do. It’s a completely new way of looking at the world and I’m only beginning to understand it.

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Posted by on March 20, 2018 in On Writing


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New Possibilities

I stayed awake today. I’ve been awake since 5am, and I’ve been tired for the last few hours but I made it. I’m going to bed, and I think I’ll be fine at work tomorrow. Which is good.

I didn’t get to write, or draw today because we were cleaning. Now that all of my kids moved out I have my own room for creative endeavors, but it’s been a little messy. So we took several hours to reorganize everything and get the furniture, and storage in the right spot so I can go in and organize my craft and writing supplies, and possibly stream from there. I will finally be able to make it my own room.

I also relaxed a lot, trying to make sure I got over this bug. Yesterday I had a few hours where my body was so exhausted I could barely move, but I was alert and awake. I’ve had sleep paralysis before, but usually only on waking. This happened in the middle of the day, and worried me a little. I wanted to make sure I took care of my health first because I’d rather not have that happen again.

Over all this week has been trying, but it finally looks like things are improving, so I’m going to get some sleep and start fresh in the morning.

Word Count: 0

Duolingo: 2 modules.

Steps: Not achieved

Art: none

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Posted by on March 19, 2018 in On Writing



I made it a whole 12 hours without falling asleep…but I’m back to falling asleep at the keyboard again. Thank goodness I have tomorrow off too.

Word Count: 456

Duolingo: 3 module and practice writing hirigana too.

Steps: Not achieved

Art: none

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Posted by on March 17, 2018 in On Writing



So sick…..

For today:

Word Count: 0

Duolingo: 1 module

Steps: Not achieved

Art: none

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Posted by on March 15, 2018 in On Writing


Something New

This week has been a journey of new things. I tried doing a few things that I’ve never done before.

I finally finished Ghostly Intentions! It is out right now. You can pick it up on amazon.

Yes, I’ve published books before, but this is my first ghost story.


It is a ghost story with a fantasy twist. Magic, a haunted mansion, and a creature that no one should go looking for.




I’ve also made some enamel pins. They are adorable, and I love them. And I’m selling them. I also started designing some fabrics, and they are also available for sale. I only have three patterns up at the moment, but more will come as I do more.



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Posted by on March 11, 2018 in On Writing


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5min – Choices

The news has had some interesting stories recently. Stories about choices, and who gets to make them, and who should judge another person because of those choices.

One of those stories was Jennifer Lawrence and a pretty black dress she wore that had a plunging neckline. If she had been on the red carpet with a lot of other women dressed in similar dresses no one would have said anything. Instead she was on a balcony with several of her male co-stars, each of them wearing coats and scarves because it was a bit chilly that night. So of course the moral authority had to come to Miss Laurence defense and tell the men to give her a coat…because she couldn’t possibly have been thinking for herself when she wandered out onto that balcony with nothing to keep her warm. (Miss Laurence of course said it was her own idea. She loved the dress and didn’t want to cover it.)

That idea that if  you say what I want you to say, or do what I want you to do, then you’re smart, and if you do something contrary to what I want then surely someone else told you to do that….it’s a persistent idea. I remember being asked that by my ex whenever I disagreed with him. “Who told you to say that?” or “Who told you that was okay?” as if I couldn’t think for myself.

It’s never okay to assume. Your choices are your choices. Mine are my own. We don’t know what was in the other persons head, or why they did a specific thing…so maybe ASK before jumping the shark.

And that’s my five.

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Posted by on February 23, 2018 in On Writing


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