RSS

Category Archives: Personal Notes

What have I been doing? ALL THE THINGS!

It’s been a long month. What have I been doing? Let’s see….

So far this month I’ve written 12,000 words, more than I’ve written in one month in a while (other than NaNoWriMo of course.) Most of that writing, and the writing for the end of April, was on my new book, Steel Soul. I only have to finish the final battle scene for this book and it will be done. The second book in this series (Steel Heart? Forge? IDK yet) already has a big chunk of writing done too.

Yes, I know I was trying to finish the next book in my Half Blood Sorceress book, and I actually have it about 2/3rds done. I ran into a large problem with the plot (mainly that five chapters weren’t working as written) so I have to go back through and fix it. This was proving difficult, and I had a great idea for a litRPG (Steel Soul) so I went with it and almost wrote a finished book in a month.

I also worked on THIS design for my spoonflower patterns. That took longer than I thought it would. I had the idea and sketched it out the other day, but when I started working on it I kept adding little details to make it better and better. I can’t wait to get my piece so I can proof it and put it up for sale.

I wrote a few more reviews for my gaming blog. I don’t do these often, I usually do a bunch of them at once then schedule them for a few months at a time. But I really do enjoy games, so of course I want to share that with others. They will start coming out twice a week again.

I’m also working on a podcast idea. I want to finalize it and get it up and running. If I do it right it will be something I record once a week, post to my blog and a few other places, and sometimes interview people at cons or other places. More on that later.

The last thing I’ve been doing this month: Leather! With only a few minutes here and there I’ve been making bracelets, and coin pouches. I’ve learned a lot about leather, and I’m really enjoying it. It’s a great creative outlet when my allergies are really bad and I can’t think, but I really want to do something. I am streaming over on twitch, usually twice a week, with leather, or some sort of creative thing. If you like that sort of thing, or you’d like to come in and say hi, please follow me.

The only other thing I’ve been doing is going to doctors, getting blood tests, and getting prescribed more meds. They upgraded me to severe asthma and allergies. Yay. They put me on some medication to try and control it, but it takes a while to kick in. In the mean time I will keep avoiding people who smoke or wear any sort of perfumed anything. Not easy to do at a call center, but I don’t have a lot of choice. I still have to work the day job, so I just have to do what I can to make do.

Anyway, sorry for the long absence, and the really long update all at once. I look forward to putting out Steel Soul, I hope soon. I think it’s one of the funnest things I’ve written in a while, but I love litRPG.

Advertisements
 
 

Tags: , , , ,

Where is my heart?

They say follow your passion and you’ll never work another day in your life. Bjorn and I talk about this, it isn’t that you don’t work. In fact you probably work harder if you’re following your own passions. It’s that you’re working for yourself, and for your dreams, so it doesn’t feel as distasteful.

Oh, there are days when it down right sucks to work on your passion. I’ve been sick for weeks and could barely string two words together, I know sometimes it’s very hard to follow what you love. But other times it’s the most amazing thing in the world, and you just get to be thrilled that you earn a living doing something you’d happily do anyway.

And some days it’s easy to say “this is the thing I love.” Other days you might get distracted, or like me you have several things you love and sometimes you have to choose which one is more important. Do I write, or draw? Do I sew, or bead? Maybe all of them?

Honestly, having a lot of passions is not a bad problem to have. I can almost always find something I love to work on that day. The bad part of it is finishing things. When you’ve got so many things going on it’s hard to pick a task to complete, and if you don’t complete things you can’t put them out in the world for other people to enjoy.

I don’t know the answer, I’m just thinking about it a lot. I think I will be the rest of the year because hopefuly next year I’m going to have a chance to do stuff full time, or at least have a part time job instead of a full time job. It all depends on a bunch of things, and I have a whole year to figure it out.

Word Count: still writing tonight

Duolingo: 2 modules.

Steps: ACHIEVED! Feeling better.

Art: none

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 26, 2018 in On Writing, Personal Notes

 

Tags: , ,

On Sleep

Yesterday I went to work, like normal, and about half way through the day I just started feeling run down. My eyes burned, my throat hurt, and I was exhausted. Sure, I didn’t have a full nights sleep, but I rarely do and it shouldn’t have come on so quickly.

I had to work half my shift, so I forced myself to get through the last hour or two before coming home. As soon as I laid down I fell asleep, another thing that never happens, and I slept for about five hours before waking up. If I hadn’t been so hungry I probably would have gone back to sleep, I was still exhausted. I tried…I really tried to stay awake for a little while. Gregg and I watched a little tv together and I started falling asleep leaned up against him after only a couple hours. So back to bed I went.

This morning I woke up at 8am and I felt a little better. My eyes didn’t burn, and my throat wasn’t as sore. I didn’t feel exhausted, just the normal amount of tired for waking up to go to work. And I did. I went to work. I lasted about half the day before I started getting really tired and had to go home again. Got home, climbed into bed, and fell right to sleep for another five hours.

I did manage to stay awake this time for a few hours, but it’s midnight and I’m starting to fall asleep at the keyboard again….so I’m going back to bed. Thankfully it’s my weekend so I can get over whatever this is that’s keeping me down. I’d really like to get back to normal.

But I did manage to write a little before I passed out again. Now… Off to bed.

For today:

Word Count: 180

Duolingo: 2 module

Steps: Not achieved

Art: none

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 17, 2018 in Personal Notes

 

Tags: , ,

Glasses and goals

I had new glasses, which was good. My old ones were a few years old and everything was getting blurry. So I brought the new glasses home and almost everything was good. There were letters on the lenses, and the left lens had the letters right in my vision.

It worried me a little bit that the tech coudln’t see the letters. They should have had a good pair of glasses too, right? And yet, they couldn’t. My boyfriend could, so I wasn’t crazy (at least not for that). Then I kept getting headaches and I realized there was a big blurry spot in my left eye every tim I wore them. My head was trying to compensate for it, and I had head aches.

So I took the glasses back and I’m wearing the old ones now…but there’s a problem. My eyes were trying to compensate for a blury spot, now the whole scene is a little blurry. When I’m tired I’m finding it hard to focus. I really hope the new glasses get here soon.

So for now I have my glasses off, which means the computer is REALLY blurry, and I have to get kind of close to it to see anything. It’s a good thing I don’t have to see what I’m typing. However it is making writing difficult, so I think I’m going to go to bed early and call it for the night

For today:

Word Count:  125

Duolingo: 3 modules done.

Steps: Not achieved

Art: A little girl and her art, and a happy pi day.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 14, 2018 in Personal Notes

 

Tags: , , ,

Setting Goals

Accountability is important. So I’m trying to be more accountable to myself. Here are the things I’m working on this year.

Daily word count, at least 250 a day. I’m setting it low at the moment because I’m trying to build up momentum again. The goal is to get back up to 1000 a day, but right now anything is much better than nothing.

Duolingo. Gregg and I are learning Japanese. I’m also occasionally doing refreshers in Spanish. The goal is at least one module a day. The more you do it the more it sinks in.

Steps. I’m not healthy for many reasons, but walking will help. My step count is set for 5000 at the moment, and I’m just going to say weather or not I hit my goal for the day. Lately I haven’t been hitting it, though I’ve gotten close. I know that in order to actually hit it I have to go for a walk during each of my breaks, and I don’t always manage to do that. Especially if my allergies are flaring and making me feel sick. But if I ever want to stop feeling sick that’s what I need to do. Get up. Get active. Stop making excuses. Even when I don’t feel like it. Especially then.

Art. I’ve been doing some pretty awesome things with my little drawings. I want to do a new piece, or at least work toward finishing a piece every day. I can’t write at work, it’s too busy, but I can draw something. I think it’s time to get a big sketchbook and try to finish a page a day. That would be a useful goal.

For today:

Word Count:  691

Duolingo: 2 modules done.

Steps: Not achieved

Art: None

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on March 14, 2018 in Personal Notes

 

Tags: , , ,

5min- Failure

How do you judge failure?

I’ve tried so many things in my life. I went to college, but I have no degree. I started painting pictures that are half finished. I have book upon book that is only a fragment of a finished novel or short story.

But is it failure?

Sometimes I feel like I’ve failed, and Gregg has to give me a pep talk and remind me of how far I’ve come, and how much I have accomplished.

You see, there was a time when I did give up. I stopped writing, stopped painting, stopped doing almost anything creative because just existing took so much effort that I couldn’t do much of anything else. That’s the lie of depression. That’s the trap of living in an abusive relationship. You feel so worthless, and useless, that just getting out of bed and putting on clothes is difficult.

And here I am, years later, with finished books and a shelf with my name all over it…. And still I feel like a failure. That thing causing my depression may be gone, but the depression isn’t. It’s a life long companion.

What is failure? Failure is giving into that depression and letting it lie to me. But even if I fail for a day there is still tomorrow, and the next day, and the next, to try again. To get it right.

And that’s my five.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on February 14, 2018 in Personal Notes

 

Tags: , , , ,

New Projects for a New Year

I bought a book. Well, I’ve bought many books, but this one is unusual. It’s a craft book with 100 small sewing projects.

You see, I’ve been in a bit of a rut lately. I’ve been working on my novel here and there, but I need something else to help fill those creative wells. Sometimes it helps to read. Sometimes play games. Sometimes go on a date with the boyfriend. Sometimes just switching projects helps a lot.

So I’m going to try something totally different. I bought a book called 100 Pretty Little Projects, and I’m going to do them. Once a week, every week, this year. I’m going to stream it to Twitch, then hopefully edit it down and stick it on YouTube. I’m hoping this will get me out of the rut I’ve been in since it is something completely different from anything else I’ve done.

So… Wednesday, here I come. I have the book, I have the fabric, and I have a camera. Now I’m going to tell that little bit of self doubt in the back of my head, the one that has constantly followed me since I was a kid trying to learn my multiplications and it was drilled into my head how stupid I was for messing up. I’m going to prove it wrong.

It’s not going to be easy. It’s really hard for me to put myself out there like this because I’m not just putting a story out there and letting people love or hate the story. I’m putting me out there, and it’s really tough to believe people want anything to do with me most of the time. But I’m going to try. And I’m going to keep trying till I figure out that it isn’t as scary as it seems.

Starting with this Wednesday! Follow me on twitch if you want to watch the mayhem!

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 1, 2018 in Personal Notes

 

Tags: , , , , ,