Category Archives: On Writing

Today

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I’m finally better. It only took three weeks to finally wake up and have some energy. The best part is I have to go to work tomorrow. So glad that I’m awake to do that. Nothing worse than going to work and falling asleep at my desk. (Not that I’ve done that, but boy it was hard to stay awake the last week or so.)

So today is another protest day. And, of course, social media is ablaze with it. It’s impossible to avoid it, which gets me thinking…

I can see why some people want to ban guns. Guns are weapons that can be used for some awful things. It might make a person feel safer if they know that the person next door doesn’t have a gun. But I’ve also lived in a place where police and ambulances were more than an hour away, and we had rattle snakes and wild pigs that would sometimes come in our yard. My parents had guns, and killed a few rattlers that were hiding in the play set where my sisters and I played every day. My dog was gored by a wild pig, stuck by a porcupine, and bitten by a rattle snake trying to protect us. Not to mention the humans out in the country with less than stellar performance.

But the part that really bothers me about this situation, that completely saddens me, is that everyone is ignoring the fact that the police dropped the ball so hard in that shooting. The boy was reported to police and the FBI more than 20 times, and no one did anything about it. Police didn’t go in when they got to the school. It was requested that he be institutionalized in 2016 and they didn’t do that. And none of this information was on his report when he bought a gun, legally. Why aren’t the protesters out there demanding the police be held accountable?

How can banning anything help if there is no one enforcing the laws we already have?

I’ve seen a lot of people who say there are problems with “gun enthusiasts.” That a collector who shoots guns for fun at a gun range is perpetrating the problem. They aren’t gun enthusiast, most of them have had family and friends who said ‘they were never interested in guns.” Actual enthusiasts are collectors, and sportsmen. They aren’t the problem.

How about hunters? No, they are in it for hunting deer.

How about depressed teenagers, or angry men? Well, it’s a place to start looking but even that has it’s problems.

So why is it happening? What is driving them? What’s in their life that isn’t being taken care of? Why aren’t they able to get help from councilors, teachers, bosses, family, or friends? All good questions that we are only beginning to ask.

Banning all the things never solved anything. Maybe it would be a start, maybe fewer people would have guns (at least legal ones), but the underlying problem wouldn’t be fixed. Who knows, maybe without guns the next perpetrator will take their own life instead of a lot of people, or maybe they will just grab a knife and use it instead like in this, this, or any of these. Or arson, like the man who killed 87 people. Or the bombings in Texas.

Yes, some reform could be used, and might be good. Having some sort of insurance on gun owners just like there is on car owners, or forcing all states to require gun safety classes, and actually enforce laws already on the books. Any of those things, and a few other things might help. But that doesn’t stop the underlying problem.

Maybe we could cut down on copycat killings by keeping the media from naming shooters, or giving them any press. Focus on the families, and people effected. Having better mental health access, and perhaps something more geared to men. Maybe we could find out why men are failing in schools, or why they are more prone to depression and suicide. All of these could be a start.

What is the problem? I don’t know. There are 7 billion people on this planet, and a lot of them are feeling a little hopeless. A lot of them have been taught some pretty terrible things. Others are just not mentally stable and can’t get the help they need. But “ban all the things” doesn’t stop the problem, it just covers it up for a little while till it happens in a different way.

But that’s my 2-cents about it. Sadly very few people are listening to the “other side” right now. They believe what they believe, and ignore everything else. Again, it doesn’t solve the problem.

I wonder when humanity will start listening to each other.

Three weeks

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It’s been three weeks since I got sick, and I’m still exhausted. We went to the doctor yesterday and she said it looked life a virus and it can take a month or two for the fatigue to pass.

A month or two of this? How do I function? I have a job, and books to write, and everything else…

I can still do things, it’s just a lot slower. And I’ve noticed the more I am on my feet the more tired I am.

I think I’m going to try laying down with the laptop to write. At least that would be an improvement. I’ve also been laying down during breaks at work just trying to get through the day. Anything to try and stay awake for the whole shift, but by the last couple hours I’m so tired I start really struggling to think. Then I come home and go right to sleep.

I hate this. I’m trying B-12 complex and since meds for now. It’s all I have.

If anyone has any other suggestions I’m all ears. This is miserable.

Getting a little personal

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I’ve been watching a lot of videos about… well… self help actually. Or maybe it’s self actualization, or attaining your potential. Any of those things, I suppose, they all boil down to the same philosophy: making something of your life.

And it doesn’t matter which book, or webinar, or podcast, or youtube video you watch, they all have the same premise. Find yourself. Then find out what you can do to make yourself better. Either by organizing your life, or learning new skills, or teaching, etc, etc. There are so many ways you can find that path, and for each person it’s going to be a little different, because we’re a little different. What drives me, and makes me happy isn’t the same thing that makes you happy. Or my children happy. Or my boyfriend happy. And that’s okay.

Personal responsibility. It’s a difficult thing to suggest these days when everyone seems so keen on blaming everyone else for their failure. I grew up around people who constantly blamed the rich for keeping them down, or jobs stagnating, or prices being fixed. Very few of them actually considered learning a trade, or starting their own business, or doing side work, or maybe even getting a second job.

There has been an anathema to this idea of “picking yourself up by the bootstrap”. So many keep saying it doesn’t work, that there are obstacles. Well, of course there are obstacles. Life is filled with them, no matter who you are. You might have some things that help you get past the obstacles a little faster, like training, or money, or a family willing to help you, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be obstacles.

For me in my writing, my biggest obstacles are my spelling (hire editors), and my ability to procrastinate. I’m amazing at procrastinating. If there were a masters in procrastination I would get it…eventually.

But that’s where personal responsibility comes in. Being responsible for my children was easy. If I didn’t feed them they let me know about it and I got myself into the kitchen and made them some food, or taught them how to make something. Feeding myself isn’t as easy. I often forget to eat, and don’t think about it till my body starts reminding me that without proper food intake it doesn’t do so well. Same with writing. If I have a deadline for a professor in a college class it is much easier to get it done than if I am just writing for myself.

Now that all of my children have moved out and it is just Gregg and I in the home it’s…interesting. I’m taking a whole new look at personal responsibility, and realizing I’ve never really had any for myself. I’ve had responsibilities outside myself like bills and children and work. But for me? That is so completely different. To take responsibility in improving yourself, pushing yourself to do great things, even making sure you put down the video game and pick up the pen, complete what you started. Being responsible to yourself instead of just doing what others tell you to do. It’s a completely new way of looking at the world and I’m only beginning to understand it.

New Possibilities

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I stayed awake today. I’ve been awake since 5am, and I’ve been tired for the last few hours but I made it. I’m going to bed, and I think I’ll be fine at work tomorrow. Which is good.

I didn’t get to write, or draw today because we were cleaning. Now that all of my kids moved out I have my own room for creative endeavors, but it’s been a little messy. So we took several hours to reorganize everything and get the furniture, and storage in the right spot so I can go in and organize my craft and writing supplies, and possibly stream from there. I will finally be able to make it my own room.

I also relaxed a lot, trying to make sure I got over this bug. Yesterday I had a few hours where my body was so exhausted I could barely move, but I was alert and awake. I’ve had sleep paralysis before, but usually only on waking. This happened in the middle of the day, and worried me a little. I wanted to make sure I took care of my health first because I’d rather not have that happen again.

Over all this week has been trying, but it finally looks like things are improving, so I’m going to get some sleep and start fresh in the morning.

Word Count: 0

Duolingo: 2 modules.

Steps: Not achieved

Art: none

Something New

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This week has been a journey of new things. I tried doing a few things that I’ve never done before.

I finally finished Ghostly Intentions! It is out right now. You can pick it up on amazon.

Yes, I’ve published books before, but this is my first ghost story.

 

It is a ghost story with a fantasy twist. Magic, a haunted mansion, and a creature that no one should go looking for.

 

 

 

I’ve also made some enamel pins. They are adorable, and I love them. And I’m selling them. I also started designing some fabrics, and they are also available for sale. I only have three patterns up at the moment, but more will come as I do more.

 

 

5min – Choices

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The news has had some interesting stories recently. Stories about choices, and who gets to make them, and who should judge another person because of those choices.

One of those stories was Jennifer Lawrence and a pretty black dress she wore that had a plunging neckline. If she had been on the red carpet with a lot of other women dressed in similar dresses no one would have said anything. Instead she was on a balcony with several of her male co-stars, each of them wearing coats and scarves because it was a bit chilly that night. So of course the moral authority had to come to Miss Laurence defense and tell the men to give her a coat…because she couldn’t possibly have been thinking for herself when she wandered out onto that balcony with nothing to keep her warm. (Miss Laurence of course said it was her own idea. She loved the dress and didn’t want to cover it.)

That idea that if  you say what I want you to say, or do what I want you to do, then you’re smart, and if you do something contrary to what I want then surely someone else told you to do that….it’s a persistent idea. I remember being asked that by my ex whenever I disagreed with him. “Who told you to say that?” or “Who told you that was okay?” as if I couldn’t think for myself.

It’s never okay to assume. Your choices are your choices. Mine are my own. We don’t know what was in the other persons head, or why they did a specific thing…so maybe ASK before jumping the shark.

And that’s my five.

Radcon Day 2

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Today is Sunday, day three, and I’m just getting up to prepare for my day. I thought I’d share yesterday with you before going forward.

Yesterday I had three panels, but the first one wasn’t until after 1pm, so we went to the dealers hall, wandered around the stalls, bought some new artwork, and a couple books, and toured the art show.

My first panel was self publishing 101. It went well. I got to share some of my experiences with self publishing and my progress from old covers to new covers. What goes into making a great book. Etc.

Then I had a panic attack. First one all weekend with all the stress, and new people around, so I’m rather happy with myself. The rest of the day my nerves were a bit raw so I had to limit my time in the halls, but otherwise I was good.

Gregg and I went to lunch and sat down away from people, and is able to go on with the rest of my day after that bit of down time.

Then I had two panels back to back. Creativity gadgets where we talked about idea/name/etc generators, battery packs, accessibility tech, folding micro keyboards, and other things. There was also a woman in the audience who asked about writing when her hands are starting to have problems. My suggestion, keep moving, and changing what you do and how you do it. Get an ergonomic mouse and keyboard, and whenever something starts to hurt try a different method. Use swype on a tablet, or hand writing, or dictation. Anything to lower stress. Sit stand desks, going for walks, stretching… All good. Keep moving though.

Then we had “making your own way” which had a cryptic discription about choosing a different than normal path in life. I wasn’t sure it was a good fit for me, but once we got talking I realized just how much I loved the panel. It wasn’t about writing, or jobs, it was about life and choosing new paths instead of what you’re “supposed to be”. I have lots of practice with that.

The conversation seemed to boil down to “be honest with yourself, and those around you, about what fulfills you.”

After that I set up my table to sell some books…. And I sold some! Weird. I’m finally figuring out how to discribe the books in one line sentences so I don’t take forever to tell someone what they are about. “This series is witches, mermaids and curses. This one is the Greek goddess of fate reborn into modern times. And this one is scifi and fantasy short stories.” Then if they have any more questions I can answer them.

Forgotten Ones, my urban fantasy about Greek goddesses in modern times, sold the best. I really need to write more of them.

After that we got some food. Then we tried going to ignition, a fire dance show, but it was really cold and windy, and we didn’t have proper jackets. Also I was exhausted and everything hurt. So we went to sleep instead.

I know, we are such Fuddy duddys. No room parties for us.

Today is the final day, then we drive over the pass and back home. Can’t wait to see what today has in store… Maybe after a nap.

Also Gregg took pictures so they are on his phone. I’ll post pics tomorrow. All I have is this blurry one of the dancers in the dark with their lighted skirts.

Radcon Day 1

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We left the house at 7am this morning. This from a girl that doesn’t usually wake up till 11am because I work nights, but we needed to get over the pass and into Pasco before my first panel today.

The pass we usually take was closed due to snow so we had to take the longer route. It was also snowing but not as bad as the main route. It will also be better when we drive home because it’s closer to Pasco so it will still be light when we get there. We usually end up driving over the pass in the middle of the night, and that isn’t fun when it’s snowing and you can’t see any lines on the windy roads.

We made great time and got to Pasco just after 2pm. My first panel was at 3:15 on (re)tired genres. It was a good discussion with several other authors. We mostly talked about revitalizeing “tired” genres and making something new from them. The second panel was right afterward concerning how big a fish you need to be. Another good panel with a couple of good authors. Neither panel had very many people in the audience, but it was day one and the majority of the participants get here on Saturday so it wasn’t that surprising.

Still, it was awesome to get to be on the panel this time instead of listening from the audience. And I love that my badge says pro.

After my two panels we had dinner, than headed back to the room where I finished Ghostly Intentions”. That means a new edit when I get home, then I can publish this thing and get back to work on the next Half Blood Sorceress novel! Yes!

Also, Prophecy by Barlight is free this weekend. And if you’re in Pasco I’ll be selling some paperback books and giving away pins.