The news has had some interesting stories recently. Stories about choices, and who gets to make them, and who should judge another person because of those choices.

One of those stories was Jennifer Lawrence and a pretty black dress she wore that had a plunging neckline. If she had been on the red carpet with a lot of other women dressed in similar dresses no one would have said anything. Instead she was on a balcony with several of her male co-stars, each of them wearing coats and scarves because it was a bit chilly that night. So of course the moral authority had to come to Miss Laurence defense and tell the men to give her a coat…because she couldn’t possibly have been thinking for herself when she wandered out onto that balcony with nothing to keep her warm. (Miss Laurence of course said it was her own idea. She loved the dress and didn’t want to cover it.)

That idea that if  you say what I want you to say, or do what I want you to do, then you’re smart, and if you do something contrary to what I want then surely someone else told you to do that….it’s a persistent idea. I remember being asked that by my ex whenever I disagreed with him. “Who told you to say that?” or “Who told you that was okay?” as if I couldn’t think for myself.

It’s never okay to assume. Your choices are your choices. Mine are my own. We don’t know what was in the other persons head, or why they did a specific thing…so maybe ASK before jumping the shark.

And that’s my five.