Author Archives: CrissyMoss

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About CrissyMoss

I've been writing as long as I can remember.

How did you get that scar?

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I have many scars on my body. After 40 years of life it isn’t unusual. I have a scar from a motorcycle burn when I wore shorts and didn’t pay attention to where I was putting my leg. I have a thin scar on a knuckle from where I cut myself as a child. I have a big dent in my forehead from chickenpox, and a scar on my elbow from running into a door frame.

But there are two scars that are unusual. One; a large scar on the back of my hand that is sharp at the tip, and blunt at the bottom. The perfect shape of a knife blade. Two; a cigarette burn on my neck.

When I was fifteen I had to ride the bus to school. It was an hour long bus trip each way with a lot of kids, most of which really didn’t care about me. We lived far from town because land was cheaper out there, and there were no cops to but into anyone’s business. And many of the families took advantage of that. Not all of them, mind you, but there were a few.

Not long before summer we were on our way home. The day was hot, and all the windows were down letting in a constant blast of wind and noise. I was sitting with my hand on the seat in front of me, leaning forward to see something.

I did not notice the boy behind me lean over the back of my seat, I just felt my hand erupt into searing pain. I screamed, yanking my hand away, and saw him jerk a knife back over the seat.

On the back of my hand was a burn the exact same of a knife tip. The skin had been burned away. Third degree burns, and I still carry the scar. I suspect he was lighting the tip with a lighter. It didn’t really matter. My hand was already damaged.

Worse, I didn’t say a thing. The bus driver assumed it was just normal teenage shenanigans, and I didn’t want to get someone else in trouble so I didn’t say anything. It took me a long time to learn to stand up for myself.

My hand healed, but it’s a reminder to me. Don’t be afraid to speak up. Don’t sit back and just let people hurt you if you have a way of fighting back. One of the more painful lessons I’ve had.

And the other scar? I guess that’s a story for another time.

Getting Ready 

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We have just a few weeks till we leave for LA and I have a lot to do. I’m not even competing, but I do want to dress up. I do want to have stickers, and other little things to give away. And I have to do everything I can to help Bjorn with his armor build. He hasn’t needed much help this year, the occasional extra hand to hold something in place, or another set of eyes to see if something is off. Mostly  I provide a lot of food, water, and cuddles at the end of the day. 

It’s been amazing to watch his build though. He’s done so much with it, learned so many new things, pushed through a lot of struggles.

And watching him I see “what excuse do  you have?” for my own creativity.

He sets a great example. Maybe he’s an over achiever just a little bit, but that’s what makes him awesome. Most people wouldn’t do what he’s set out to do. It’s a lot of work, a lot of sweat equity, and most people just don’t have the fortitude to do it. I think it’s amazing. 

So this weekend, and next weekend, I’ll be starting to get things together for the trip. Costumes, extra clothes, traveling stuff. Since we’re driving I’ll need to go clean my car, and get a wash for it….So much to do!

And at the end of the long drive we’ll have lots of friends to meet up with. Can’t wait!

Twitchcon is a go! 

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It’s just about time for Twitchcon. If you’ve been following me on twitter you might have seen pictures of my boyfriend, Bjornsworkshop, and his giant suit of leather armor! It’s amazing. I love it! I can’t wait to see him on stage at the cosplay competition!

We are driving down in October, staying for a few days, and then driving back home to Seattle. It’s going to be a long, exhausting, wonderful trip. 

And the best part about it is that he was voted in. All you wonderful people, and the people in his stream, and family and friends, voted for him so he got the first spot in the armor category! So much love and support, it’s been amazing to watch.

We will, of course, be sending out some vids for the trip. We have to share our journey with everyone. Maybe I’ll start vlogging a bit more this evening. Of course his whole build is on twitch right now, too. 

What’s that?

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The last couple of days I have been busy working away on a few things. Today has been the most important. I got the edits back for Dragon’s Flame, put up the pre-order, and started working on the revisions. It is up for pre-order for 99 cents right now, and will be released on the 29th.

The edits are going well, and there are only some minor reworking to do, but over all I’m pretty happy about this novel. Then back to working on Dragon’s Blood.

I’ve also been finishing Costume Shop, my first children’s story. It will be a chapter book, with an R.L. Stine feel to it. And it will be out in time for Halloween.

I’ve also been updating a lot of my covers. A few months ago I did a complete over-hall of my Illicit Gains series, I thought it was about time to redo the text on my Small Bites short stories series. The text just looked so boring next to all the other ones. With the new text I think I’m happier with the covers.

Smashing the Cookies 

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There is only so much room in a cookie jar. Oh sure, you bought macadamia, chocolate chip, peanut butter, oreo, and about fifty other varieties… But there is only so many that you can actually fit inside that cookie jar. The rest will have to wait their turn. Or you end up smooshing all the cookies to crumbly messes as you shove more and more inside.

Just the same, there are only so many hours in the day, and so many things you can focus on at once. The more you cram in, the more you split your thoughts, the worse things become.

And different things will have different weight for each person. Work, children, money stress, people, etc…. We each deal with them differently so we have to weigh them for ourselves and figure out how many we can fit in our lives before we smash the cookies.

For me, people are draining. Don’t get me wrong, I love people, but the more people I talk to in a day the more I want to go home and shut off my brain for a while and not think. This is not good for my writing. I work in a call center, I talk to literally hundreds of people a day, helping with their tech issues, listening to their personal lives, and getting a small glimpse into each person’s world for half an hour at a time.

It’s draining.

So I have had to cut down on contract with people in every other aspect of my life. I don’t go out as much. I don’t listen to as many podcasts, or go to social media as much. I try to guard what energy I have left so that I can keep my creativity.

Balancing a life isn’t easy. But I’d rather not have smashed cookies.

5min – Smoke

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There are a lot of forest fires going on in the USA right now. And a lot of flooding in the other half of the country. Water or fire and smoke, either way, it’s a miserable way to live right now.

I feel guilty complaining about my problem with the smoke, after all there are hundreds of fire fighters out there trying to get it under control, and waiting for the rain just like we are. Only they are in the middle of it.

But I also have friends that are equally effected by the smoke. One friend who has a little boy with asthma, and a pregnant wife struggling to just breath. And I’m right there with them.

I saw a thing on twitter a few weeks ago when we had the first round of fires saying “Why are you complaining about the smoke, there are people out there risking their lives,” and I have to say it’s a bit of a false equivalency. Yes, they are out there risking their lives, and I’m grateful that they are trying. I don’t think they’re going to be able to stop the fires, but maybe they can slow them down. Maybe they can put out a few of them until the rain comes. If the rain ever comes.

But there are people who really are effected by the smoke too. Children, elderly, pregnant women, and people who have to work out in this stuff day in and day out. People who have legitimate reasons to share their hope that the fires will pass. Their frustration with the smoke. And their struggle to just live a normal life.

Just because someone lost a whole home doesn’t mean the person who just lost their garage isn’t also hurting….We each have our struggles.

And that’s my five.

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I did zero writing today. And I’m not going to make excuses. I actually set it up, got ready to maybe write, walked away to help Gregg with something,  then chose not to come back. 

Choices. We have a lot of them. Sometimes they are as simple as which jelly do you want,  grape or strawberry (the answer is Apple butter, of course) and sometimes they are life or death. Writing is somewhere in-between. 

What causes a person to sit down and write? What motivates them? I’d like to know. Sometimes I think I have it, then I’ll take a few days off and it’s gone. 

But right now I’m exhausted. It’s 5am and I’ve stayed up far too long. 

To be fair, I did get a few things done. I put more items up on redbubble, and ordered a dress. So that will be fun. 

Anyway, that’s my five. Good night. 

5min – Branching Out

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With novels and short stories I’ve been writing a lot, but it isn’t all I do. I’ve been an artist just as long as I’ve been an author. I have a deviant art from way back when, and I’ve sold things on etsy and other places before.

Lately I’ve been drawing a bit more because it’s easier to doddle during work while I’m on a call than it is to write. You really can’t write anything while you’re talking to someone. But doodling? Easy. And I have TONS of these pictures sitting on my hard drive, cluttering up my house in sketch books and other areas. So I finally decided to do something with them.

I started a RedBubble account, and started listing some things. I’m even going to start ordering some of them so I can test the quality and see what they look like in person. So far I have a half dozen pictures up with various ways to buy them. Stickers, posters, cups, and even a few dresses with nice patterns. I am definitely ordering myself a dress once I get the right pattern.

I’ve also been doing more with leather, and a few other projects in between books, so I’ll probably be reviving my etsy store soon.

Here’s the thing, diversifying income streams is important. Most authors that are making it work aren’t just making money from their books, they are also talking at conventions, selling merch for their books, or writing courses to sell on one of the teaching websites. I’m not very good at teaching, I’m much more comfortable just writing, and doing things rather than showing people how I do them. But I can draw. I can make little things. I can create in other mediums, not just words. So I think that’s where I’ll be diversifying.

And that’s my five.

5min – Just keep swimming

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It’s been a while since I started these five minute writing excersize, and I’ve learned that taking some time off is a bad plan.

A rolling stone gathers no moss…right? So if  you keep moving, keep progressing toward your goal, it’s less likely that you will stop and start growing moss, or in my case, procrastinating.

It’s so easy to procrastinate though. You have games to play, movies to watch, meals to eat. You can even procrastinate by cleaning the house. You need to clean the house, of course, but when  you’re looking for anything, even the little tiny things to clean just to get out of doing something then it’s more than cleaning. It’s procrastination.

The last couple of weeks since I finished “Dragon’s Flame” I started working hard on the procrastination. Games, mostly. A minecraft pack that I wanted to try, and West of Loathing (which is a WONDERFUL game and I highly recommend) were great distractions. Talking to my children, spending time with Bjorn when he took a moment from his own work. And so much more.

But I suppose it’s time to stop procrastinating, and start writing again. I am half way finished with the next book in the Half Blood Sorceress series, and it’s time to get to finishing it. I still haven’t gotten the edits back for the first book, but… that will come.

And there’s my five.

Rising from the darkness

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Today has been a day to recenter myself. I needed to.

And here is where I get a little personal today, and talk about some of the personal things that effect me.

I haven’t had issues with depression in years. Maybe a day here and there where I feel down, need to lay in bed and cry then get up and get back to the grind stone. Not like before. Not like the days when I use to sit in my bathtub praying to a god that wasn’t there that he would just let me die. That sort of desperation, that utter lost feeling that the world was closing in on me and I could not escape it, that I haven’t had in almost a decade. Thankfully.

But I do occasionally have those days where I wake up and it’s just so hard to get out of bed. So hard to turn a light on, or find my clothes. So hard to find that desire to just…move. It would be easy to never leave the house, just be a hermit and never speak to another person outside my home. But I know I’d eventually spiral down into that pit of despair, and drown again.

So when I do have those days now I force myself to get up. Force myself to tell Gregg that I’m having a problem. And like today, I take a mental health break and surround myself with people I love, who love me, and who support me in my dreams. I also missed my girls and spent some time just walking around the mall with them. By the time I got home I was exhausted, but so happy.

This wasn’t an option all those years ago in the bathtub. It wasn’t possible to draw my family to me and focus on their love. I am so, SO, grateful that it is possible to do so today. My daughters are grown, and they understand the darkness that lurks inside of me. My boyfriend has had to deal with it himself, and also understands. I have friends that also have had to deal with it on occasion, and friends who love me regardless.

So if you’re in a dark place, and life is starting to weigh a bit heavy on your shoulders…reach out to someone. Talk to them. Tell them what’s going on inside you. You might not know what to say, the words might be hard to come out, but please…try. It does get better. And depression is a lying bastard.