I haven’t published ANYTHING in a couple of months. It’s depressing me a little.
Now, I realize I’m being hypercritical of myself. I am watching the word counts go up, the chapters get finished, the edits work… but the bar I placed, publication, isn’t happening. It hasn’t happened in a few months, and it bothers me.
Objectively, this is ridiculous. Other authors spend months writing, editing, and publishing novels. If you go through the gambit of traditional publication you may only see one or two books A YEAR come out. I did eleven, in six months.
I should be proud of myself. I should be happy with my progress. But ultimately, it isn’t enough.
But I think this is a good thing. If it were enough then I wouldn’t be pushing myself so hard to write more. If it were enough then I wouldn’t be striving to up my word count, fix my formating and spelling on older books, or attempting to come up with book covers that don’t suck too much.
I am taking comfort in the fact that this isn’t enough, because it means this is incredibly important to me. To go farther, write more, and tell my damn stories to everyone willing to listen.
My stories should be seen. They are worth it. It’s never going to be “enough”, so I’m just going to have to get better.
The hardest period of my writing ever was Hit Girls. I’d published Touch and Non Zombie, one a week for months. Then I did Hit Girls, and it was seven weeks of no publishing. It was hard. Very hard. Hard to feel like I was doing anything.
But now, having gone through that experience, writing feels like enough in itself. After you’ve finished this one and published it, I hope you find the same. Once you prove to yourself that, yes, writing in a long block eventually leads to publication, you don’t mind doing it as much.
That is what I am hopping for. The majority of my planned books from here on out are over 20k words, so I will have to find the fulfillment in the little accomplishments, or write faster. Both probably.
Both is best. 🙂 My most recent discovery to help productivity is to sit down with a word goal, rather than a time goal. I no longer sit down “for an hour” to see how much I can do in that hour. I sit down “till I’ve written 2,000 words” and see how fast I can do it. Two sides of the same coin. If you do one or the other and it’s starting to bog down, try switching it up and see if the other way works better for you.