Mapping it out!

Ipeylin‘m starting to put together a map of the entire world of Peyllen, and how the Sea of Tears (from the “Witch’s Trilogy”) fits into the greater world. You can see the Sea of Tears in the middle with land on either side. Oddly the islands in the Sea of Tears do not appear on any maps of the various kingdoms because any ship who traveled there never returned. They assume there’s a sea monster, or some large whirlpool there.

I love having maps in Gimp because I can do various layers that include roads, trade routes, and even a map just to lay out which character goes where in the world. Then you can just make the layers that you want visible. It’s fantastic for story planning, and keeping everything in order. Plus it’s just awesome to look at.

Next I’ll be adding various features like large forests, major cities, and the mountain ranges.

Also, I should note that because of the way Peyllen was created this map isn’t based on normal geological features, as in plate tectonics and shifting like that. Other things like weather, and where deserts and swamps might occur, are effected naturally but the underlying structure of the world was created by the movement of the trolls, not plate tectonics. (More on that in another post.)

I have lots of books planned in this world, spanning centuries, so look for updates of that after I’m finished with the Witch’s Trilogy.

Almost done, and scared

I’m close to finishing book three in my Witch’s Trilogy. This has taken me almost a year and a half to complete. What started as a simple 80,000 word stand alone novel has become a 230,000 word trilogy, something I never thought I could write. I mean the first novel I wrote (which was terrible) took five years. This took 18 months for all three! That’s crazy.

And yet as I get closer to the end I find myself getting scared. Scared to finish. Scared to succeed. But mostly terrified that it will fail. It makes it difficult to write sometimes, but I do it anyway. A few words here, a few sentences there, trying to get to the end even though a big part of me is afraid of doing so. And I know it’s stupid to be afraid.

For the last couple of years I’ve made some great friends, watched them write novels and make a small (or sometimes big) following for themselves. And they’ve done well. I’m happy for them, and I’ve tried to learn from their examples but it all seems to come back to “write more good books. Eventually something will get through.”

Oh, they do other things like ads on facebook and book bub, but mostly they just write good books and keep putting them out there. No wonder they have lots of readers.

So I’ve been telling myself that with the third book I can finally have a trilogy out, three complete novels, and I might be able to do a bit of advertising. But as the time gets closer I realize that… it doesn’t work like that. Oh sure, I could do some advertising (and I will) but really, in the end it might not even matter. Sometimes getting people to pay attention to what you made is just a matter of the right time at the right place.

So I’m afraid that I’ll put up the third book and I won’t sell a single copy. I shouldn’t be afraid of that, not if I really just want to write. But there it is. That gnawing fear.

Here’s the truth: whether I sell a thousand books, or one, or even zero…I’m going to keep writing. I love telling stories, and building worlds. I love seeing what happens to my characters. So I know I shouldn’t care if this book sells anything since I’m going to keep doing it anyway.

But I also know it’s nice to have some validation that what I say matters to someone. And I don’t know where to get that validation. I suppose I should figure that out soon, because it probably won’t come from sales any time soon.

After this last book in the trilogy I’m going to go back to making my own covers, and probably shorter works because editing can get expensive, but I will continue to write. And I won’t feel the pressure to finish them like I do with this one because I won’t have invested so much money into them… just time, and me. I think I’d rather invest myself in my books then money anyway.

Anyway, time to get back to the writing. Fear or not, I want to finish it. Even if no one ever reads it I need to say that I finished it.

Diversity in Fantasy

I write fantasy, if you can’t tell. I also read a lot of it. I enjoy dragons, fairies, magic and mayhem. It’s fun, and a nice distraction from every day life. But most of all I love building world’s where people can change everything around them with a little magic.

Today, while youtubeing, I ran into an interview with George RR Martin about GOT, and specifically why it is so “monoculture”, i.e. most everyone is white. Martin’s answer, and many people’s answer for this, is “Because most fantasy is written by middle aged white guys.” And there is a lot of truth to this. There aren’t a lot of fantasy writers of other ethnicities. Wiki even had an article about it, and a list of the notable authors. There aren’t a lot.

But I think there is more to it than that.

Most fantasy books have mono cultures because they take place in small areas before the advent of travel between countries. In my own series all of the characters are the same race because they all live on an island nation together. There have been no immigrants, so no other races are present. There are more diverse characters in other parts of my world, but there are no planes to encourage mixing of the cultures. No TV, no phone, no cruise ships. No extensive way to travel, so few do it.

Integration and diversity are modern concepts created because travel and relocation became easy. On the other hand most fantasy is built on the Victorian age when only the rich or explorers could afford to visit far off lands. That means a natural lack of diversity.

Plus if you wanted to base the culture of your world off an actual real world equivalent then the place with castels, Knights, priests, etc (things people often equate with fantasy) was Europe, not Africa. A fantasy novel based on Africa, or Asia, or South America’s past would look entirely different than one based on Europe. If you just make all of the characters in your Anglo influenced book dark skinned then it’s still a white culture book with dark skinned people. The skin color often becomes irrelevant at that point, window dressing to go with the dragons. Then you get to the question “if you call a rabbit a smeerp is it still a rabbit?” Does it matter, does it make a difference. I don’t know that answer because it doesn’t effect me in the same way, I’d love another person’s opinion.

Another way to look at it… Why is Merideth from “Brave” White? She’s from Ireland. Why is Elsa from “Frozen” white? Scandinavia. Aurora, Snow White, Cinderella… All from predominantly white countries. Would it have changed them had they been Black or Asian? I think so,just the same as making Mulan white would have been wrong on so many levels.

Also, we write what we know. I learned a lot in history and English about the ancient days in England, I know very little about Africa before colonization. Our studies in public schools in the USA are very USA centric. I’ve also read a lot of fantasy books that take place in Anglo influenced realms, because there aren’t a lot that don’t. Therefore when I sit down to write I’m more apt to write in the same sort of world because that is the world I know.

There is also the risk that if you write about diverse cultures you risk catering to stereotypes. I don’t know much about the early days of Africa, but are the few things I do know heavily influenced by stereotypes or not? I don’t know. How much research do I want to do in order to write that book without appearing to be “another white girl labeling black culture?” It’s often safer not to attempt it, and so many newer authors won’t. Then you have your series that you have a fan base in and why would you step out of it to try something new?

I find the question of diversity more appropriate when dealing with science fiction because one would assume that most science fiction would take place in the future where integration was more predominant, or modern fantasy that takes place after the industrial revolution. Even then you might come accross species, groups, or colonies that are monoculture for one reason or another. It’s a good time to explore it.

I suppose I’m more curious about this question as I get closer to writing the books and stories I have planned that take place in areas of my world that are distinctly not Anglo in origin. I love my world, and I want to share it with readers, but I also want to be faithful to the world I created.

I suppose there is a balance to be struck somewhere, and it’s my job to find it.

How do you know if you’re good?

You can google that questions. It will give you seven ways to know if you’re a good person, ways to be good in bed, and ways to be a good kisser. But nothing that really says “this is how you know that you’re good.”

Try “at something” and it gives you a list of questionnaires to find out your strengths and weaknesses, and tricks and tips to finding your talent.

But how do you really know that you’re good at something? For me it’s writing. I write short stories, I show them to other people, and sometimes they say they are good. Other times they read them and say nothing. Still sometimes they don’t even bother reading them. That’s nothing new though, I’m sure I’ve passed over thousands of books to choose to read the few that I have. There are TV shows I will watch, and rave about, and there are others I won’t even give a second glance. But that doesn’t necessarily speak to weather or not something is good.

Today on Reddit someone asked what the worst part of self publishing was. I said marketing because I have absolutly no idea how to do. I think sometimes it’s just that I don’t have the confidence to do it. I don’t believe in myself enough, I don’t believe that people care what I have to say enough, so I don’t want to bother them with me begging them to buy, read, or review one of my stories. This belief that my words hold no value is ingrained from childhood when I was to be seen and no heard, and a lot of the time I wasn’t even to be seen. It’s a hard thing to undo.

Another person in that forum said they hated marketing because there were tons of books that were better then hers that aren’t getting any love because their writers don’t know how to market, while her books are doing fantastic because she is good at marketing. And there is the crux of the matter. If you know how to market you’re golden. If you don’t… then you’re me. 😉

I do get fantastic comments on my books sometimes, and I read them all because it’s so encouraging. The comments, wherever they find me, have been helpful in keeping me going in between publications.

But am I good? I don’t know. Perhaps time will tell. All I know is that for right now… I’m good enough. I’ve gotten to a place in my writing that I think I’m doing pretty good. Not everything is golden, not everything is solid, but the things I put out are decent and I would read them if I hadn’t written them. Isn’t that as much as you can ask, especially when you’re first starting out?

I hope some day to know weather or not I was good at writing. Until then I plan to just keep getting better, and keep putting things out. Eventually something is bound to touch someone.

Don’t give up!

It’s nearing the end of NaNoWriMo. Just five days left, and I have 9300 words to go. That’s less then 2k a day. I got this!

But it also means that I’ve been really hard at work, and sometimes when I sit down at the computer I fumble through about three hundred words (words that I will just be throwing out) before I can actually get anything good down.

On one hand this is good. It clears my mind and gets me back into the writing motions. I’m okay with that. And the fact that I can recognize good writing from bad writing so fast, and still realize that I need to get it out before I can go back and fix it, means I’ve improved dramatically over the last few  years.

On the other… I have to throw out a bunch of words I just wrote. It sucks, however you look at it. Every once in a while you’ll see a tweet from me (if you’re following my twitter) where I say “just wrote 600 words and threw out 600 words. A day in the life of a writer.” And it’s true! Some days you have a bunch of drek to throw out before you can get to the good stuff.

But that’s okay. EVERYONE has those days. We all have a day where we don’t feel good, or we don’t feel like being creative, or efficient, or even getting out of bed. Sometimes we even give into those feelings. It’s okay, it’s normal. As long as the job still gets done.

I’m starting to think of writing as a job more and more. A job I love, but a job just the same. One in which you still have to show up and do the work every day or you don’t get paid. It’s not a hobby anymore, it’s something I need in my life, and I keep doing. Even on days when it’s tough. Even when the ‘muse’ must be tied up to the chair and force fed coffee to get her butt in gear.

So don’t give up. I know it can be tough sometimes, but don’t give up.

A warm up

It’s day five of NaNoWriMo and I am at 5716 words. That means I need to write 2600 words today (and this blog post doesn’t count.) Can I do it? I’m hoping for another 1000 words tonight honestly.

So why am I here, on a blog, instead of over in my scrivener writing my novel? Because I find it cathartic to clear my mind and talk to everyone before I go rushing off to write sometimes.

So what’s happening, besides NaNoWriMo? Gregg is finishing new leather projects and starting to take commissions. He’s finishing his second one tonight for a wallet with a radiation symbol on the front. It looks pretty awesome, if I do say so myself.

I just got my Made By Mommy craft challenge box, and that’s due by the 24th of this month (am I crazy? I didn’t realize it was due so soon. I’m NUTS!) But I have a couple ideas and might work on those tomorrow in between word sprints.

And I haven’t done the Tuesday Talks or Wednesday top five this week because of NaNoWriMo. I’m honestly not sure if I’ll be able to do them this month because I am making writing a priority.

It’s been a great month, and I’m so happy with how much I’ve already gotten done in a week. I’m excited to see how far I can take this.

PS I’m a 6400 words now, and I have tomorrow to get in another 3000 words. I think I can handle that.

Creativity and Depression

I was listening to the recent Author Strong Podcast where Nancy talks about her battle with getting the words out now that she quit her day job. She took a leap of faith, and now she has to deal with her depression trying to assert itself.

I listened as she stumbled, trying to explain to Matt (a very cheerful and go for it type of person) why it was easier to say “do this to work around it” then it was to actually do it. And I saw myself reflecting back at me.

I’ve dealt with depression for as long as I can remember. As a teen I had school, and sisters to help pull me from it. When I got married I had the children to help. In the last six years I’ve been happier then I’ve ever been with a new life, a great boyfriend, a supportive family, and an outlet for my creativity. And yet for the last month I’ve had that old beast, depression, rearing it’s ugly head.

I know what’s causing it. I know what I need to do to make it shut up and stop all the self doubt and whispers in my head that I’m not worthwhile. But that doesn’t make it easy.

For creativity, this is horrible. Every time I sit down to write I have to talk myself into it. Not just the act of writing, but the act of sitting at the computer for anything other than playing a game or checking email. Just opening the files so that I can read through them is a huge stress when depression starts whispering to me, and it’s not always easy. When I do start to clunk away at the keys sometimes I can write, other times I will put down a few words before the whispers in my head telling me I’m not good enough, I’ll never get anywhere with this, I’ll never finish, get too loud for me to write anymore. I’ll get up, do something else, change perspective, but I simply can’t continue on with that work…yet.

I sent a tweet out yesterday that said “Depression is a lying bastard.” It’s a common refrain now, a reminder that all the whispers in my head are wrong. I am worth it, I will finish, I am stronger than I seem. All those things and more.

Someone replied “I don’t believe in depression.” I don’t know if he meant it as a joke, or he honestly doesn’t believe in it. It really didn’t matter why he said it. I looked at the tweet and all I could think was: “Man, I’d love to have the luxury of being able to dismiss depression as nonexistent.”

In some ways knowing what’s wrong, and why my creativity is floundering, helps me get through it. I can write a blog post, or tell Gregg about the things going through my head, and things tend to die down for a little bit. Sometimes. Other times I can’t seem to break free from the cycle. Even while writing this blog post I had a moment where I could not pull myself from the destructive thoughts.

If you think of the brain like millions of chemical reactions going off all over the curves of your cerebellum then it is easier to see how one miss fire could trigger a cascade effect that can run out of control sometimes. Thoughts that keep repeating themselves, destructive thoughts that keep cycling over and over, a lack of will because it is simply easier to avoid new things than deal with that destructiveness.

We do have some control over the chemical processes in our minds. There are techniques and medications we can use to lower certain hormones which cause the more harmful problems. But not all of us have access to medications, and the techniques aren’t effective 100% of the time.

How do you explain depression to someone who doesn’t have it, or someone who thinks it’s “all in your head”? I don’t know. I have trouble describing it to myself some days.

But I will continue to sit down at the keyboard and try to write, even when the chemicals in my brain don’t want me to, because this is important to me.

Won’t you take me to Funkytown?

This month has been less than stellar. It’s already the 9th and I’ve had two good days of writing, and couple days of no writing.

I think I know what’s causing it, or rather aggravating it at the moment. I’m under a great deal of stress from the rest of my life. This has put me in a kind of funk, and I hate it. I admit I’m prone to depression sometimes, and I’m not quite at that stage at the moment, but sometimes it does look a little bleak to my messed up brain chemistry.

I can’t tell anyone why that stress is (yet) but I can tell you I am taking measures to alleviate it. The solution isn’t an easy one, and it took me months to finally decide to do it, but my close friends who know about the situation agree that it is the best thing for me right now, and are being very supportive in the situation. I will let all of you know what happened, and what my choice to fix it was, as soon as things are fixed.

What does this mean for my writing?

It means I’m not writing as much as I’d like to, or need to, in order to finish the novels I had planned on time. NaNoWriMo is coming up soon and I was planning on writing a stand alone novel, “Awaken the Dragon”, but I don’t want to do that unless my Witch’s Trilogy is finished and on to the editor. As it is I am 50,000 words into a 80,000 word novel. I think I might end up using NaNoWriMo as a boost to get it finished.

After NaNoWriMo I planned to start working on my urban fantasy series, Eternal Tapestry, about goddesses in the modern day world. I still plan to do that. I have five novels already outlined for it, and some of them already have several thousand words of beats and chapters written. For 2016 I want to get at least four of them out. They are shorter novels, but fun to write, and not quite as difficult as the Witch’s trilogy has proven to be.

On other news I am moving all of my books (short stories and novels) off of other platforms and going strictly KDP. This means that you can get (almost) ALL of my books through Kindle Unlimited. It also means there will be several books coming up for free. I had been holding out on the Witch’s books since I wanted to put the first perma free once I got the third one done but it’s not doing anything while I wait for that to happen. Better to try KDP for a few months and see what happens.

I’ll try to have one free story every other weekend for a while. We’ll start with that and see what happens.

Also, if you haven’t seen my youtube channel yet here is a good opportunity. I decided to participate in Booktube more. It was an easy choice since I love to read, and I’m passionate about books. It’s also loads of fun. Who doesn’t like to talk about things they love?

If you’d like to see some of the episodes you can check that out here. There will still be the occasional vlog from Gregg and I, and there will also be Loot Crate unboxings, and other little things. But mostly it’s going to be about books I love to read and I think others will like too. I would love to see you guys in the comments. Tell me what books you love, or which characters you hated.

I’m also going to try… TRY… to be better about sending out newsletters. I’m terrible with it and I know, but I do want this to be a useful thing, not just sending notes in bottles so I feel like I need something to say, and with my publishing schedule I don’t have a lot to say very often.

To that end: do you have any questions? Concerns? Gripes? Let me know. It will give me something to talk about in the next newsletter.

Magic Systems

Another FAQ from reddit.

I’m not very experienced in terms of magic systems. So I thought about going sort of Final Fantasy (black, blue, red, white) classification. Can I use latin names for my spells? Is it tacky? I can’t think of imaginative ways to name my spells rather than that. Will it sound too Harry Potter-esque?

Spells have been done in all sorts of unique and interesting ways, from ingesting pieces of metal in the Mistborn series, to land magic in MTG, transmutation alchemy in “Full Metal Alchemist” and energy magic in Krynn.

The most common magic system is based on the mind and/or elemental magic. The red/blue/red of Final Fantasy is one of them.

For a magic system of your own you can borrow from the classics and adjust it, or you can create your own and make up your own names for it. Latin is perfectly fine and has been used before. It is not tacky, though some might think it’s over done. (Besides, “tacky” is in the eye of the beholder and I happen to love several series where the wizard yells out a spell word/name to cast. Like Dresden.)

To create your own magic system I suggest starting with these questions: 
What does it cost to cast?
How is it cast? (words, items, gestures, etc.)
What does it feed on?
What does it effect?
Who can cast?
What is the negative side of the magic?

This should get you on the right track.

Around the Web

The internet donated over 800 copies of banned books to teens in South Carolina.

Judging books by their cover just got a little more scientific.

3D printing glass? 

15 scifi books you should definitely read.

‘Guilty pleasures’ and ‘the Kindle closet’: ‘The real book versus ebook list’

Top 100 Sci-fi list filled with books “shockingly offensive”…. As a note, I don’t agree with this woman’s article, but thought others might find it interesting, or worth discussing.

Garbageman rescues books to create a community library.

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Remember that “Witch’s Sacrifice” is on sale for $0.99 for the rest of the weekend. If you haven’t checked it out yet now is your chance. It won’t be on sale again until the third book comes out sometime around the end of the year.

Have a wonderful day ya’ll.