Category Archives: Commentary

Tales from the Used Car Lot

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Let me just preface this with… I knew better. I did it anyway. In a way, I deserved it. But it is still irritating as F%*!

A couple of days ago my boyfriend and I started out on our day off. We were going to Tandy for some leather, and on the way out of the driveway we stopped at the mailbox. I wish I hadn’t.

In the mail was a large flyer for a used car dealership saying “Come in and claim your prise!” I scratched off the box, and of course it said “$750”. Not the $5 gift certificate to Walmart that most people got.

I read the entire terms of the contest, and the only thing I could find that said it might not be $750 was a little part that said “we will check your code against the billboard in the office, and if it matches you’ve won.”

$750 was a lot of money. It’s an entire paycheck for me. It would have bought all the presents I’d been dreaming of getting my kids, and a the tablet I’ve been so desperately desiring. I could already imagine it. And all I had to do was go check some code, and maybe… unlikely, but maybe… I won it.

So we went to a used car lot.

Now, let me just say that I avoid used car dealerships like the plague most of the time. The last time I stepped on a lot it was only because my car died, and it would have been thousands to fix it, so I decided to get a newer model, one that would last a while. And I didn’t do too bad. My car was only $5000, and it’s been three years since I got it. Most of the issues wrong with it are just regular wear and tear that you’d expect when a car hits 130K miles.

So when the dealer sat us down, and gave us his pitch to buy a car I was only half listening. My car was “okay”, but I wouldn’t have minded a newer, model if they had one in my price range.

He got my info, took it to the banker, brought it back with good news… I could qualify for a loan if I found a car I liked.

Here is where things started to turn south. I was, at this point, ready to get the $5 gift certificate and leave. But, of course, they want to sell me a car if they can. So he asked what my price range was. I told him $150 a month, fully expecting he would say “that’s not possible” and send me on my way.

He comes back with a set of keys, ready for a test drive. I asked him “How much” and he said “the banker handles that, he’ll tell you when we get back.” Red flag one.

The car drove pretty nice. I really liked it, but I knew as I was driving it that I could never afford something that nice. Too bad, I’ve always wanted something that nice.

We get back to the dealership and the guy asks for my keys so they can check it for a trade in, and walks off. Red flag #2!

The manager comes out and tells me the car is $20,000, only $400 a month. Red flag #3, and I’m done. After scraping my jaw up off the floor I say “That’s WAY more then I said I was willing to pay. I think we’re wasting each others time, I’ll just take my keys and go.”

“No, no, no,” he said, running his hands through his oily hair, and smiling so big I could see every tooth, “just tell me what you think you can do, and we’ll work on getting closer.” Asks me how much I would be willing to spend per month, again, and I tell him at the very most… $200. Not a penny more.

He comes back 20 min later with another offer. With my trade in, he’ll give me the newer car for something like $18000, and only $280 a month.

Are you kidding me? Seriously?

My boyfriend shows him the Kelly Blue book of $12,000 and we both tell him he wouldn’t be able to get a dime more then that with or without the trade in.

He goes through the numbers again, with and without trade ins. With extra down payments. Etc. Etc. He tries to convince me to try one more time, and I put my foot down and tell him I don’t care about trade ins or anything, if the price of the car isn’t less then $8k then it isn’t happening. Can I please have my keys back I’d like to go.

Then the car dealership financer comes out. She explains “what a great deal this is”, and how lucky I am to get this 5% interest rate. No one ever gets this interest rate. and “YOU QUALIFY, it’s already been approved. The bank said you can afford it.”

I very politely tell her she is a fucking idiot. No, not with those words, but that was my sentiment.

I did tell her that I didn’t care what the bank said I could afford. I knew my finances. I was the one paying my rent, utilities, and for three kids, not the bank. I would be the one getting expensive full coverage insurance because I had a financed vehicle, not the bank. And I CAN’T AFFORD IT! And I didn’t know why they were showing me that car in the first place since I told them at the beginning I couldn’t afford more then $150 a month. Now, can I have the keys to my car. (For those keeping track, that’s the third time I asked for keys.)

She tried to explain that getting a loan for $150 isn’t possible. That’s not how banks work. I called her on it and said she was straight up lying. I know it’s possible, I did it before.

She finally…. FINALLY…. gave up. Almost.

They brought me my keys, but tried to show me another car that was more in my price range.

The car was ugly, beat up, the paint scuffed and oxidized. My cute little red ford focus looked beautiful compared to that car.

“No dice,” I told him. “Your sales crew is slimy, and underhanded. They flat out lied, and tried talking me into something I couldn’t afford. I wouldn’t buy a car from them if they were the last dealership on earth. I’m going to Craigslist from now on.”

Bait and switch. Any car dealership that does bait and switch isn’t worth a second thought.

New Year is Around the Corner

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Christmas is tomorrow. The presents are under the tree. Stockings are filled. Lights are up. And everyone is looking forward to a big meal, followed by a long sleep.

And I am considering the last year, the progress I made, and what I want to accomplish next year. (Not waiting for a new years resolution.)

For 2013 I had no real plan except to start working through my old stories, and get as many of them finished and published as possible. Most of them were short stories (20 short, 3 novella) and I am rather pleased with the turn out. 2013 also gave me a huge start on some novels, and other short stories that I want to continue working on.

Sales were … okay, I suppose. I was actually really encouraged by how often I got sales, and while I can’t track my sales daily yet, I am doing so monthly, and that’s a huge step in the right direction for me.

Every sale just encourages me to write another book, and there is nothing wrong with that.

This coming year, 2014, I want to continue writing and publishing stories. I’d like to have at least two, if not three, 60-80k word books out. One is already half finished, so I have a nice jump on that.

I’m also going to work on short stories. Two a month seems like a good plan, because finishing something gives me a good sense of accomplishment, and bolsters my resolve to keep writing. Keep creating. “Make good art.”

I do, however, want to put more emphasis on the longer works this year. I need full novels, not just short stories.

And… sigh… I’m going to have to learn to market and get reviews, even though I hate that part of writing. But, since I’m doing this through the self publishing route, it is even more important for me to figure out the marketing side of this business.

I think once I have a couple of full length novels out I will feel more comfortable pushing the marketing. But only slightly.

So… here is to the new year, and a lot more story telling going on!

It’s been a while

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I haven’t written a post in a while because I’m tired of being a negative Nancy. My life isn’t that bad, so I really shouldn’t be.

Here’s the thing… I was hoping that in March I would be able to start the paperwork on buying a new home. Not renting, and wasting thousands of dollars on something I can’t change. Not dealing with ugly beige carpets that get new black spots ever time someone walks in with shoes on. (Seriously, why do they put beige carpets in DINING ROOMS?!?!?! It makes not sense.)

No, I thought I’d have my own home that I could paint, rip out carpets, ruin, or improve… but it would be mine.

I have a house loan. I can do this… if I can get a down payment. Which I can’t. My car breaks, or a kid gets sick, or my tooth gets a crack and… good buy down payment that I’ve been saving for a year. Or two. Or three.

And I don’t really want to leave the school district we are in because they’ve been so great to us. But the housing costs are rising here, and I won’t be able to afford even rent soon.

So, there you go. I’m feeling kind of negative as my savings gets eaten up, and I have nothing much to show for it.

Yay.

And, I am trying to look at the bright side. My kids are happy, healthy, and doing well in school. We have a roof over our heads. I have a steady job. We are all doing well.

But I’d really like a house… or at the very least I’d like to see upward movement in my house fund instead of the sudden downward movement every time I think I’ve gotten there.

Grumble.

I should be writing

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I should be writing, But I’m not.

After NaNoWriMo I was a little burnt out, which is understandable. 50,000 words in 30 days, and I wrote 7000 just in the last two days. 48000 of it was just on one project.

I got tired of looking at words, and files, and spreadsheets of numbers. Tired of trying to string two words together to make a coherent sentence. Tired…. just tired.

So I took a little break, immersed myself in Minecraft for a little while, and haven’t written much in the last week. I did write one entire plot for a new novel that got added to my “to write”and list, but there are a lot of projects before it.

So… why aren’t I writing now?

I have two half finished books (one novel, one novella) waiting for me to finish them. I have several short stories almost finished that, if I actually sat down and concentrated, I could probably finish in a week.

I have convinced myself that as long as I keep putting out books, stories, novellas, and some full length novels, that eventually there is going to be a tipping point and I’ll eventually make enough sales so that I can write full time. But I also know this is going to take a lot of hard work, and time.

Hard work?! Ug!

So… to remedy this I am going to have to start writing every day again. Even if it’s crap. Even if it sucks and I know it. Because it can’t always be crap, right? But I’m going to start slower then NaNo levels, and work my way up.

Since I started tracking my writing last February I wrote 210,000 words. Finished, and published, 20 short stories, and 3 novellas…. lets see how many I can do before the next NaNoWriMo!

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This morning I watched “Teens React to CaptainSparklez“, and I have to admit… I’m aCaptainSparklez fan. He, along with YogsCast, are the reason I bought Minecraft, and why I come back to it more then any game I’ve ever played.

At the end of the video they asked why people might watch CaptainSparklez, and other play throughs on youtube, and most of the teens didn’t know, even those who watched them. But I know why I watch them.

I don’t watch sports, because I have no interest in watching sweaty guys running back and forth on a field/court, playing an intricate game of “keep away”.  I don’t understand all the fine rules of most sports, not because “you’re a girl”, like most people would assume, but because I didn’t grow up with sports in my home. My dad didn’t watch football, and never sat beside me cheering on his favorite team. So it doesn’t bring me any nostalgia, or happiness to watch grown men playing the game I was forced to endure during PE ever school year for three weeks.

I don’t watch much TV anymore. Not because I have some moral issue with TV, but because I remember when TV was good. When every channel made you feel something, either laughter, love, fear, or awe as you watched your favorite actors and comedians in the shows you loved. Or the documentary about going to space. Or the show with an amazing woman fighting dragons, vampires, and/or gods, and showing girls every week that there was more to life then being a house wife.

Now, TV is 80% fake reality TV. Not just fake, but they take the worst elements of our society, and parade them around for everyone to see.

Watching channels like CaptainSparklez, YogsCast, or NorthernLion give me a real look at someone. I get to watch them actually react, jump, cheer, or laugh because of something in the game I want to play.

Watching Let’s Plays is just another form of voyeurism, but it’s on my terms. It’s far more realistic. The people are people I like, and would often love to be friends with if I met them IRL.

Now, I do think Pewdiepie is half show, and half reality. I think he, like me, gets easily scared and is just more willing then I am to confront that fear. (No, I am not installing Amnesia on my PC again, F*CK THAT!) But he does ham it up for the audience. And yet he is the most subscribed channel on youtube. Because he’s an all around interesting guy.

If TV execs would stop working so hard to make reality tv interesting, and just let it be itself, or put interesting shows with good story, drama and feeling back on… we’d probably watch a little more. Especially if you stopped trying to force us to pay $70 a month to subsidize sports channels.

People love good stories! They flock to the theater to watch epic, 3 hour long narratives. They buy books in hordes, listen to tons of audio books, and still they clamor for more.

But they also crave honesty. Something, or someone they can relate to, admire, be inspired by, or just teach them more about how the world works.

It saddens me that almost all of the great science and education shows have been replaced by crap. That science fiction, one of the most inspiring genres ever, has practically disappeared.

But I still have youtube.

 

 

PS! Thank you to Simon who helped me save the post I had accidentally deleted. You are AWESOME!

Sex and Video Games

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body_sm_ratios1On Reddit today, there was a game designer asking if his female character was sexy, but not so sexy that it was conforming to the usual female game design stereotype….  So it got me thinking.

“Sexy” is subjective. What you find sexy I might not find sexy. And what is sexy by one regions definitions will not be the same in another.

For instance, this character has the mandatory large breasts, hour glass figure, and swaying hips that western society deems “sexy”. If you go to Japan, or Brazil it won’t be the same standard. They don’t have the same stereotypical “sexy” idea of women that we do in the west.

Now, is it still perpetuating the stereotype of video games? I don’t think so, because she isn’t half naked and her figure actually has a natural curvy form, while still being close to realistic, though not quiet.

Now.. as a woman I find the whole discussion to be trivial in general. “You’re painting women as sex objects” … No, they are painting them as caricatures of the “sexy woman”. That is to say, grossly out of proportion, gravity defying, and completely unrealistic. Some of them ape superhero proportions, but many of them don’t even bother with that. If that is a man’s idea of an ideal woman then he is in for a sad awakening when he goes looking for a real one.

Advertising has done far more to paint woman as sex objects than video games ever have, and yet fem-libers will shout far louder about a woman in impractical armor in a video game then they will about the anorexic looking fashion models, and half naked women in commercials and magazines with photoshopped bodies.

A character in a video game ISN’T REAL! It isn’t even close. It doesn’t paint an idealistic picture of a woman, it paints a fake, unattainable in any circumstances woman. What’s more, it doesn’t just do this for the women, it does this for the men as well.

Women who get all irritated about video game avatars are clearly not versed in gaming and comic book culture, nor do they know anything about the historical trend of art. Both men and women were painted, drawn, sculpted, and shown in the idealized versions of the time and place they originated, and/or caricatures of those ideals. It only sometimes has something to do with sex, other times it’s just something “pretty” to look at, or commentating on society as a whole.

And if they are versed in art history, then why the hell are they so argumentative about the whole thing? Why aren’t they using it as discussion instead of just saying “DON’T DO THAT!”

Superheros are a mans power fantasy? So because I’m female I’m not allowed to have the same fantasy? I want to fantasize that I’m the sexy muscular woman with all the power under my sword, able to slice through dragons, orcs and trolls with one swing of my sword. That’s my power fantasy!

Just because you are offended at something THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT WRONG! Stop fucking up life for the rest of us just because you got your panties in a twist. Let me have my fantasy for one fricking minute, and just enjoy being beautiful, strong, and capable, even though I’m not in real life.

And really, isn’t that what a video game is all about in the first place?

Lighting the way

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There is a moment when you are out in the woods, lost and weary, and you finally catch a glimpse of a light off in the distance. But your body is struggling to put one foot in front of another. Your mouth is dry, eyes sagging. Your breath ragged. And a fog has descended upon your mind. You don’t know if you can reach that light. And part of you just wants to lay down right there, sleep, even though another part of you knows that if you do you’ll never get up again.

It’s the same with any struggle. You fight so hard to attain a goal, work day and night, and see that light at the end of the tunnel. And sometimes you make it. Sometimes you get there and realize it wasn’t a lantern, it was just a fire fly and now you’re further off track then before.

But finding waypoints along the road will help. Setting markers, attainable goals. Little projects that lead up to the larger ones. Taking chances…

Sometimes it feels like you’re moving backwards. Sometimes it feels like your just stuck in a pit of despair and avoiding the rats of unusual size. But the light is still there… waiting for you to reach it.

More often then not, we are our own biggest road block. Our will fades, or determination takes a vacation, and we let the RoUS get just a little too close. They have to nibble on our toes before we finally get moving again.

Think of them as motivation to keep moving. Don’t get mad at them, but don’t sit around and chat with them either.

Distractions and Productivity

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There comes a point in every project, be it a corporate portfolio, a painting, song or book, that your mind starts wandering. Everything seems to be distracting you. The rhythm from the song playing, the TV in the next room, the anticipation of a show on TV. The cat rubbing up against your leg.

How do you get through that? For me, I take a break.

When you are getting that many distractions it’s sometimes just your brain saying “Hey, I’m working hard here, I need a break.”

I understand deadlines, and work ethics. You have to work with those, as well as your brains natural tendencies to overload with too much work. I find taking a ten to fifteen minute break is usually enough to get me back on track. (Unless the distraction is something living that is demanding attention, those are harder to ignore, especially children.)

There has actually been research that taking a break is good for productivity. It gives your mind a chance to wander, and then when you get back on task it is more at ease.

My favorite mini breaks are a quick level of one of my puzzle games. I have a lot to choose from. A quick walk around the house, or taking a break to wash some dishes, grab a cup of coffee, and other similar tasks are also on my list.

I have found that after prolonged time in my chair I NEED to get up and walk around. I’m not as young as I use to be, and the fact that sitting a lot causes premature death, I want to get up and walk around more anyway. Or, like today, write at my standing desk.

All of this has gotten me to here… with “Forgotten Ones” just three chapters of editing away from being finished. It feels so good to accomplish something!

Okay, done with the break, time to get back to the grind.

The Internet is Weird

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Over the last year I have made some new, wonderful friends. People who have helped, and encouraged me. People I have laughed with, made fun of, and in general caused mayhem.

People I have never actually met in real life.

I don’t know a great deal about these men and women on the internet. But I like them. They tell great stories. We have similar senses of humor, and love writing, and reading, and share a lot of similar goals.

I count them as friends.

I suppose this isn’t quite as unusual as it would have been just ten years ago. Many of us now have friends that we’ve never actually seen face to face. Never had a cup of coffee with. Never hugged, or shook hands. But the people on the other side of that google hang out are just as wonderful, and I would miss them just as much, as any other of my friends. (Especially Cyndi 😉 )

I am unsure if this development in our culture is good, or bad. It has allowed me, a person who is uncomfortable in crowds and often socially inept, the safety of a computer screen to feel completely at peace with chatting with more then two people at once. And has even bled over into my physical life.

On the other hand, there is still a distance. If something were to happen to one of my friends that live down the street I would know within a matter of days, if not hours. If something were to happen to one of my internet friends… would I ever know?

I suppose it is no different then if I had a pen pal back in ye old Victorian days, and the letters simply stopped coming. This is probably also why living wills and wills now sometimes include passwords, or other information to inform those who might be interested.

In a world that is increasingly becoming connected, and at the same time disconnecting from one another, we are adjusting to technology, and the idea that boarders, and distance rarely matter.

Perhaps there is a story in this idea… one in which a boy, smitten by a girl in a city far away, suddenly loses contact, and travels across the country, or the world, to find her.

Perhaps it’s just a reminder that life is fragile, and precious, and we should all take the time to appreciate our friends weather they live down the block, or on the other side of the world.